Friday, March 28, 2008
after 189 days, 3 dates and many many meet ups, it has finally came to an end. i seriously do not feel hurt at all but rather happy that u really said what u really felt instead of hiding it inside of u.. i personally feel that it is my character that contributed to our break up. my character is understanding and giving too much care and concern abt u. I have shown too much of understanding and concern and care to u when we are together.
boyfriends are not suppose to comfort their gf or just maintaining low care and concern and low understanding. bf are just suppose to love their gf and care more abt their gf's love for them. However most gf wans their bf to understand them more, but it seems more of a want than need.. sometimes ( i dun understand y) gf tend to stick to bf who scolds them or abuse them.. from the outside it seem inapproate but most girls love their bf even more and try even more to make their bf happy.. my previous relationship ended like this coz i cared and understand too many thing already.
when i did this, i was just acting as a good friend to u.. some1 who never throws temper and understand u very well. its just that letting you go with ur mistakes have taken a toll on our relationship.. i lack the terms "manly" in my character and it has made fools out of me.. maybe you are still young and dun really understand abt it but it seems i am unable to forfill that slot in your heart and keep the fire in your heart alive.. i personally dont want to be with some1 who forcefully try to love me coz of what i did for u.. its like being together with an empty shell all the time. i onli want and need is your heart not your body..
i seem more like a best friend than your bf most of the time. treat it as a steeping stone for us and we learn from this experience together. At this point of time i dun expect you to regain your "feel" for me anytime soon.. cause " once gone it's gone, have a hard time to find it back". i still feel happy that u said that to me and i really appreciate it a lot.. this will be the last relationship i would have till i am 30+ come out of ns 22, add on 0.5 at CAAS taking the papers. 2.5yrs training 3 yrs contract and 3 yrs at university.. i would only get a decent paying job at around 30+.. haha.. but 1 thing.. i still love you a lot and still am willing to wait.. maybe 1 more yr till i go ns.. i am only willing till wait till then... if got better males than me.. pls go with them ok? promise me that..
Life N MemOries } {7:37 PM}
