Saturday, June 7, 2008
today was DOOM's day.. dun really have the mood for anything.. and my behaviour i dun even think i can control anymore.. my emotions are running wild again and i had no choice but to go kamei's hse to do fin the project which ms voon wanted.. and i drew all she wants messy but when zoomed in u can see every little details she need.. and it took me very very long to find the exact dimensions..
today there was point where i feel like breaking down.. such sadness goin thro my mind.. i could not really slp ytd.. keep thinking abt my situation.. 2nd time this yr im feeling this way.. the feeling of such unwantedness pain.. but i dun regret doin it.. biondi keep stressing that it will get better since i know wad she really wants.. and hm was so shocked that i asked that.. well there are many unexpected things in life but dun regret.. i think im gona pain for quite a while.. its hard to forget and love another again since it has sunk into my heart so deeply.. well i got friends who are supportive and i LOVE THEM ALL.. and pipi being there for me and i really appreciate it a lot.. sometimes i feel saying it out would make me feel good.. im nt gona emo as it cost me money and i dun think i i wan2 spend more on my rum..
well after proj time i went home to take a nap.. really really tired out already.. and a sudden sms from kamei "would u mind if eva came out as well? " but she was not free at all.. saded.. need to ask kamei cater to her timings.. Kong Fu Panda was very very hilarious every1 laughted and there were many kids as well... there is one phrase that caught my attention "the past is history. the present is a gift. the future is mysterious " that is wad its like in life.. we dun know wad would happen yesterday so we must always prepare for the future.. went home with junjie and caught a couple saying goodbye at the bus stop and both were shocked to see us lols..
i shld had anticipated it coming sooner or later. from the time when i know wad type of guys she liked last time.. i shld have predicted it.. my prediction was correct but was not the way i planed it,, i thought i had not enought time than u would break with me.. but it was pointed out that i was not your type.. at least i know after me there was some1 and i dun think it turned out well enough might have been F.A.T .. well 6 mths with u is for something.. i know that wadever u say the 1st sms is always the truth and the rest are lies.. u are frightend by that and im frightened as well.. i dun have to confidence to confine and love another again.. i dun even think i even believe in love anymore.. i dun wan to feel this again anymore.. its painfull and onli demoralise myself.
well lets just forget abt it..we wont ever be tghter again anymore forever .. im done sobbing already alcohol is not cheap.. tampines and bedok is a designated no- go zone for me already and i will never want to step foot there agian..
Life N MemOries } {1:05 AM}
