Sunday, September 21, 2008
today is the 21st of september and 1 yr ago was the day i made a mistake by choosing to be with u.. today im goin to write abt how i felt during the relationship with u and after.. its part of my life so im gona write it anways..
from 21st 2007 to 26th march 2008
it was my 1st time really being with a girl so i was rather scared but i did not really ask for much help from my friends. it was the 1st time dating a girl with my own abilities. like who i am. im a shy person and im not too used to such things as asking girls out.. i felt relaxed when im with u. even though we quarrell almost once a week.
those were minor dispute and its mainly due to your pampered life. but i dun really care coz i loved u then. those small mistakes u made were well ignored by me. you were very shy too and even if we were suppose to go out u would reject me. i know you are still shy in your 1st relationship but i dun think u were trying at all though. its quite dissapointing becoz u onli liked to stay at home and maple..
well i did not log in much to maple during that period and u were rather lonely other than me chatting with u on the phone.. well after 1 month or so i realised that i talked too much like my predecessor and im starting to run out of things to say.. most of our converstations were abt maple and more maple.. after meeting u once i started to feel that we might just click well..
after like another 2 months we went on december 16th to the beach for like 2hrs be4 u went back.. u seemed rather scared to be with me or should i say already dislike me.. great.. and those chats on the phone became shorter and shorter becoz u wanted to slp early.. idm that actually.. becoz im happy with u.. this time our chats went out of maple and into life events and started sharing our problems and emotions.. thats a nice step forward for me
i just wanted to make u feel comfortable with me so i could take u out even more.. and just to bond together i started goin to ur hse to talk and share things face to face.. and even after i went home i still called u.. from what i realised in january.. u started to feel more comfortable with me and always cracking jokes with me.. it felt nice though..
it went on to febuary and i can feel that u really cared abt me when i went out a bit late for my horntail that time.. i told myself that i could not have found such a caring gf and i promised to treat u better and give u more space.. however this extra space made me feel that it was a wrong decision..
we started going to movies and had a lot of fun watching and talking abt it when we reached home.. although u dun allow me to hold your hands in public its still a small stepping stone.. however on the 21st of march.. its suppose to be the 6th month aniversary.. as what hannah montana likes to sing abt.. best of both worlds.. well u cant have the best of both worlds, friends and bfs.. thats 100% true.. and i allowed u to join your friends and it went super duper late and well i was rather angry..
as wad i said be4.. im easily jealous and started lashing out on you.. it appears that i did not care much abt u.. well it continued till tuesday when u decided that it was enough tobe always trying to be a perfect girl friend to me and end it.. well it was rather heart breaking for me but i went down on wed to say sry.. but its already an impossible situation to salvage..
27th march till present
its an agony in maple becoz 1) u left me for another person in a hurry 2) mng told me that u were goin out with gab who u saw that day u went to xfire with ur friends. wad i can say now is that you were trying to get rid of me and my skills of actions reading failed me badly.. made a mistake by asking u back.. well at least i know what u really thought, which really helped me to wake up my idea..
since u left i had nthn to do on the weekends so i always went on shopping spree and bought lots of stuff. since i was not mapling i had more money in my hands to spend.. and its nice to pamper yourself.. sch was busy with fyp but at nites theres nothing to do but to watch videos.. spending at shopping sprees was not relaly controled and almost had starbucks everytime i went out..
i also had watched more movies during this period with friends.. and i studied more to get at a gpa of 3.1 an improvement from 2.7 at a time when i did not have much time to study.. and guess what, im mapling at a slow pace now and its of fun rather that for power leveling now..
well in the end after doin so many things and getting so many things i realised that i needed somebody to be with me sharing my woos and in the end is i still miss u
Life N MemOries } {7:59 PM}
